Coach Goes Beast Mode on Soccer Dad

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Guess what? What?

I have read 5 books already since last we talked about reading again. And how many of those were on your brand new Kindle that I bought you? Well, I tried to resolve this Kindle,

especially when my phone's dying. It's really useful to have as a backup. Oh, okay. But on Kindle, they

Kindle challenge,

and it's going through October 1st through December 31st. There are 84 days remaining, and I have a lot 4 out of 15 achievements.

Oh, so you get they're trying to gamify reading? Yes. That's cool. I love it. It's like my video game stuff. They give you achievements for

things. Yeah. So, currently, I I'm a bookworm,

and I have had a perfect week because I've read Sunday to Sunday.

At some point, I've read certain pages. Yeah. That's Sunday, Sunday. I like that though because they're kinda giving you props for

and they're tracking you

on what you're reading and how much you're reading. Yeah. I mean, I again, I like I said, back when, I used to read a lot.

It wouldn't be weird for me to read, you know, 50 to a 100 books in a year. I read The Da Vinci Code in a weekend. Right. But

and you didn't sleep either. I haven't been able to read that thing. No. I love that book. I couldn't put it down.

And I've had that before, but

it the idea of reading again after we had talked about it, I was like, I gotta do this. So this has been fun. Yeah. You

I've noticed that you, as a person,

don't

take a lot of time for yourself, which I think you should. I think that's a woman thing, to be honest with you. That's awfully sexist to you. It is what it is, especially if you're a wife and mother. Well, I'm just saying, you tend to not take a lot of time for yourself. So I am happy

that you have been able to do this, and that is why I bought you that Kendall. Mhmm. Yeah. We shouldn't have I shouldn't have paid for the Kendall, but I wanted you to You didn't have a cube open for it.

I wanted you to have something that you enjoy that isn't,

you know,

a chore or whatever. And I appreciate that you see that and are recognizing that. I feel like we're in therapy right now. Let me recognize your appreciation.

Everybody start a podcast because it's free therapy.

Marriage counseling.

But it is. It's something that I wasn't taking time for myself to do, and I'm enjoying it. That's good. Yeah. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yep. Thanks. Now read more on the damn Kindle I bought you.

It's just really convenient to read on my phone because I have my phone on me all the time. But at night, when we're laying in bed, I can grab my Kindle, my phone can charge, and that's what I'd use it for. So I think the last episode, we talked about the Kindle Yeah. And how

it actually is better for your eyes, and I found out why. So remember I kept saying the the lighting is different and you The glare.

Well, you kept saying that it's the same as your cell phone, like, the light that comes from it. Yeah. Because you can turn night light on your cell phone. But okay. So

the Kindle or your cell phone is backlit.

Okay. Which means it the light comes from behind the screen. Uh-huh. The Kindle, though, is front lit.

So it's never, like,

glaring into your eyes. K.

That's why that's part of the reason why it's better. Plus, it's an e ink screen which does not put off light, and it's

designed to mimic tech like a piece of paper.

I like it. Technology.

I like it.

Wonderful. But it's been a crazy week, though. Like, I feel like reading has allowed me to kinda step away from it, but it's been a crazy week. Yeah. We've actually watched quite a few things on the on

the shit box TV thing, whatever you wanna call it. Yeah. We'll get to that. Oh, no. Don't.

No. But the Canadian wildfires

actually made it down the smoke made it down here to Florida. I don't believe

that. I don't know if I do either. I don't believe that at all. How the hell did it travel that far? I don't think it did. I think it I remember,

didn't we get hit with stuff from Africa though before? Like, the desert storms that they get up there? All the storms travel on that current

that I know. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, though, maybe it isn't so far fetched to think that a wildfire smoke can make it from Canada to here. I'm pretty sure they're closer than Africa.

Well, I mean, I it may

the wildfire smoke made it to Virginia. Our family experienced it there. So do we.

Right. When we were in Virginia. Yes. But for it to have traveled all the way to Florida, it's kinda blowing my mind. I didn't even know those were still going.

I I haven't been paying attention either, to be honest with you. That's old news at this point. So Right. It was like back in June when this shit started. Well, I'm just saying everybody has moved on. Right. So we had it though. Yeah. We had something. We had, we definitely had something down here, whether it was that or not. I didn't smell it, but I could see it. It was very hazy. Yeah. We kept saying, man, it's humid as shit out here because it was so hazy, but it really wasn't humid. So we were kinda,

why is the air quality so bad right now?

Mickey Mouse is farting or something.

Oh,

not sure that's what Mickey Mouse does, but okay. Mickey Mouse doesn't poop? No. Oh. He's a mouse.

He's perfect. Oh, okay.

But then the national test happened this past week. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The national emergency test on everybody's phones and people are freaking out. What are we gonna do? Well,

get into your conspiracies that you kept reading. I wanna go through this stuff. Okay. Ready?

So there were

multiple sources that said that you should turn your phone off and make sure that it will not gain signal

because this is going to be the start of the zombie apocalypse.

So the test was supposed to somehow start, like, mind control and, like Through sound. Through sound, start to

make people go into a frenzy. So there's all this stuff about the national test and it being loud, and it's gonna go into mind control stuff. But when I received it, yes, it was loud. It was annoying, and the message popped up. It was all in Spanish.

I'd I think I didn't read it. It went off twice for me. 1 in Spanish and one in English. Oh, really? Yeah. It went off twice for me.

Mine was Spanish

the entire time.

My whole thing, though,

is the if they really did want to cause

purge like stuff,

all they have to do is say you're living in a simulation.

Nothing matters, and everybody would go fucking apeshit. What if that was the message on the test? That's what I'm saying. Simulation. You're living in a simulation. Nothing you do or see or say is real. Here's the red pill.

Everybody would go nuts.

Uh-huh. Just imagine the chaos in the world. Well, at least the US. I don't think, yeah, that was a United States

Thing. Thing, national test. So but it is kind of scary though that they're able to do that. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

That can be used for very bad purposes, and I'm not talking

crazy stuff like Zombie apocalypse? Yeah. Like zombie apocalypse.

But they could send propaganda messages across that and kind of infect people

and infect people's minds with shit. I mean, to your point, though,

why would they use your cell phone? Like, they already do that with the mainstream media with social media. Said it. Everybody has a cell phone, and you

and they

kept saying everybody needs to turn or some people said everybody needs to turn the phones off.

Everybody

I would a lot of people have cell phones now. Right. And that's a direct line of communication with each person in this country. Right. And the idea of a cell phone for most people is that it's a a smartphone. That's smart. And you're getting your information from mainstream media and or social media. But what I don't understand

I don't think that they would need that extra step is what I'm saying. I'd

they are removing the need to go through a media company.

I guess. Direct to consumer. Yeah. They can say whatever they want directly to you, which is kinda freaky. But time when you want a message to go to people, you fluff it. Right? You are slow dripping. You are

like, they they tell us shit that's gonna happen before it happens. Like, you can watch movies or listen to the news, and it's like the slow drip of events that are leading up to the big thing that happens. They yeah. I know. They they almost condition you for bad news. Right.

You know what I mean?

They they kinda give you, like, little little drips of it, and then all of a sudden, it's like, oh my goodness.

Yeah. I mean,

look what is happening currently in

Israel and the Gaza Strip.

That is

insanity right now.

This is kind of a dark subject, but

not I mean, it's rough. It's what's happening. Yeah. It's rough. Like, I've there's a Reddit out there. I think it's called war foot or combat footage.

And I tend I like to look at that stuff. I don't like to look at it, but I look at it because you don't see this stuff in the media. Right. They will they sanitize it, and you see what they want you to see. Right. Well, this

people are posting. People that are on the ground in Gaza

and

in Israel,

and you can actually see what is happening.

It's terrifying.

Like, there's people driving down the street

in their cars minding their own business, and they're getting lit up Yeah. In the streets.

And it it yeah. It's it's terrifying, and I pray for everybody that's involved in that chaos over there because

the the the I mean, I'm talking about these are innocent people. It it isn't like soldier versus soldier. Yep. I mean, yeah, they are fighting each other right now, but you're also dragging in a bunch of civilians that have nothing to do with

all that stuff. Uh-huh. They're just trying to live. Just another crazy week in the world. Oh, it's it is nuts. It's like a very

coordinated assault too. It's it hasn't been you know you know how, like,

a lot of the times you see these attacks on Israel and it's just like rocket barrages. I'm not saying that I'm not trying to downplay it, but this is way more than that. Mhmm. Like, they blew up part of the wall

into Israel. They've

gotten into Israel. They've set up,

like, cells

in Israel to

attack from within. It's it's nuts.

Yeah.

Yeah. It just seems like a crazy week. And don't don't go look at that stuff if you're if you have a sensitive

stomach because it's bad. There's, like, some very not safe for work or not safe for life shit

on that on that Reddit. But like I said, I tend to go out Be informed. And find that stuff because I wanna see what's really going on,

and

that kinda helps.

Yeah.

Let's switch gears. Yes, please. I just wanted to bring it up. I know it's awful. We don't we try not to talk about things like that, but it's No. We try to talk about things like that. Let's be clear. It's just it's freaky, and I feel bad for everybody involved. Well,

the war

that is that

area, we'll say, like, the it's constant, perpetual.

I know.

So,

I mean, it it is what it is, and it's scary and sad.

I don't know. It's it's hard. I I just couldn't imagine

living there Right. Because of the constant chaos they have to endure Right. All the people over there. Anyway Switching gears. Switching gears.

So our kiddo just got her in her Halloween costume

Yeah. For the upcoming Halloween

night. Halloween Halloween.

Guess what are the most popular Halloween costumes for girls this year? Ariel?

Yes. I have more broad topic, but, yes,

the Little Mermaid. Yeah. Little oh, okay. I got you. Little Mermaid.

Mhmm. Which is specific. So it's the

I don't understand what it means by this. Oh, no. So it's the

previous version of The Little Mermaid and then the cartoon version and then the live action Little Mermaid. So they gave us 2, 4, 6, 8, 8 options, and 3 of them are The Little Mermaid. Oh, no shit. Yeah. So Ursula,

the cartoon version of Ariel, and the live action version of Ariel. Well, that's cool.

What else?

Ladybug?

No. And I'm not really surprised. I don't think ladybug's as popular as it should be. So you're talking about Miraculous Ladybug, the tales of

Ladybug and Cat Noir. Our daughter is obsessed with it. I am too. I love it as well.

But she was that last year, our daughter. She dressed in that costume, Ladybug, last year. But, no, didn't make the list. You wanna keep guessing? No.

K. So the other items, again, kinda broad are Barbie. There's 2 that are Barbie. I can see that. Yep. Rollerscape Barbie and Cowgirl Barbie.

Then Bluey made the list. Oh, good. Now I was very surprised. I like Bluey. Me too. I didn't think it was as

mainstream

as that. Is now. There's groups on Facebook Of adults? Yeah. It's like adult bluey conversations. I'm like,

what are you talking about? Uh-huh.

Then Paw Patrol, so Sky is a big one right now for girls. Okay. Yeah. They just came out with another movie. Right? Exactly. Yeah. So that's yeah. I got you. And then Spidey Gwen. So the girl Spider Man.

So from Miles Morales, Spider Man. Okay. I gotcha. So those are the most popular for girls. You ready for boys?

What could be boys? I don't I don't know. We don't have a boy, so I can't guess.

You have nephews.

Spider Man. Of course. Yeah. Spider Man, Batman.

No Batman, surprisingly. Yeah. I mean, I'm not surprised. I guess. Had a, like, a movie at that age level in a while. Right.

I don't know. Okay. So yes to Spider Man, both Peter Parker and Miles Morales.

Then

video games,

it's, again, higher

overarching topic. Video game. Super Mario Okay. Legend of Zelda Okay.

5 Nights at Freddy's? Yeah. That's kinda I think it's like a horror game. Oh, never heard of it. They had a bunch of the stuff at Spirit that we went to. Gotcha. Must not have been paying attention. And then Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah. That all makes sense.

Now the last few are kind of the same or 2 of these are kind of the same as the girls, Bluey

and Paw Patrol. Who who in does it say who in Paw Patrol?

Probably Chase. Chase. Yep. And Chase is the costume. Yep.

And the last one is Transformers.

That surprised

me. Didn't no. They came out with a new Transformers this year, wouldn't it?

Like, the pre pre prequel? Right. Right. Right. Right. But I guess, like, they're never on that age level, I feel like. Do you think parents care? True. Go watch robots kill each other so I can take it back? My daughter's seeing transformers,

but I guess not that bad. Like, I wouldn't expect a child to be so in love with it that they would wanna dress up as it because it kidding. It feels like more preteen teenage.

I fucking love Optimus Prime. I understand, but when you were a kid I loved Optimus Prime. The action figures and there was a cartoon. Like, when we were kids, it was a bigger deal. And you know how hard it was to actually fold them fucking things up?

That was annoying.

Okay.

But, like, they don't have do they have a cartoon now? I don't know. They have a cartoon now? Do. Yeah. They yeah. Yeah. They do. I think it's on Peacock or something like that. I don't know. It's on something. I'm pretty sure.

But,

yeah, I mean, I was I liked Transformers as a kid. Yeah. For sure. They even have a list for men and women. No. Thanks.

The women actually look pretty similar to the kids'

Barbie?

Barbie, Ariel, Princess Peach,

Wednesday Addams

Oh, no. Zelda I don't understand. And Spider Gwen. Those are women.

What are the dudes? Beer, Gut?

No. The men are, like, true to Halloween in my opinion. We've got Scream, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees,

Chucky,

the inflatable T Rex.

Yeah. That's that's my favorite. I like seeing people try to run-in those. Freddy Krueger, and then this one and this one's kinda funny. The Ken cowboy costume. Oh, god.

And last but not least, the adult Bowser. Oh, I like Bowser.

Paige's. Yeah. Okay. So that was the men's.

So it's not far off from the kids.

I mean, the women are spot on with the kids. The men are just nuts.

There are they all dress up like psychos.

Well, the true Halloween spirit, the the horror part of it.

But yeah. So I think we're almost ready for Halloween. I think we're getting there. Yes.

And as far as The Little Mermaid goes, we just watched the new one. The live action film. Yes.

It was freaking awesome.

I didn't mind it at all. I think I don't get it.

I do. I was thinking about this last night. I know we were both trying not to talk to each other about it because we wanted to wait for this. Mhmm.

But I think it's because as a society, we are so divided

that both sides is trying to find something wrong with everything that the other side or

what they consider to be the other side. Specify your sides.

Left and right. Whatever you wanna say. You know, the Woke versus not? Yes. Exactly. So Disney has had a recent track record of being

woke. Right. And

because this is a new Disney movie,

people

are automatically

assuming it's going to be woke. Right. Right? So

instead

of watching it and then coming up with a freaking

opinion,

they're just automatically saying, oh, they replaced Ariel with a black chick, so it's

not good. Right. That's what people are doing. It's woke. It's woke. It's woke.

But in reality,

it was good. They replaced

Ariel of an animated

Yeah. I know. Movie It's a cartoon. With a real person

who could sing just as well. Yeah. She I was actually very impressed with her the rendition of the songs

because she sounded almost it was really good. Mhmm.

I agree. I just felt very

different than the people were saying online. I will die on this hill. I am not kidding. This was their best live action period. It's I think so. True to the material. Yeah. It didn't veer off in some crazy way. Well, and that's and that's the other thing too, is people were dogging the

ask before you kiss the girl type

song. It was like They said it once in the song. They were like, you should ask and then kiss, then give it But it was fine. A phrase. Yeah. I know. That's the thing. Two words. But that's people are getting super angry about

it because of how divided we are. It's like words and a 200 word song, and you're pissed. But it's just a fucking movie, first of all. I can't. It's not your life.

No. Just chill. If they had butchered it, okay, fine. We can be mad. But this is one of the few times that they stayed true to content.

They did a couple of additions. It was nowhere near off base.

It was beautiful.

So I'm going to die on this hill and say that the new Little Mermaid was the best live action

that they have ever made. Yes. I was a little upset. Her hair wasn't as red as I had hoped it would be. The crab didn't have the accent like it was before, but it was

good. Yeah. The only thing that I would say that was a big negative was Flounder's ugly stupid face.

I mean, okay. Fine. Flounder looked like shit. Well They did a sonic on him. They didn't let us voice against it. They made him look like a fish.

And he is a fish. I know, but he didn't look like a friendly fish.

It just it was flounder was not good. No. Well, I mean, I get it though because they were going for realism. I know. They're trying to be live action, make it real. But Well, and then they didn't. Wasn't Scuttle Scuttle in the movie or in the animated was Seagull. A seagull.

You know, they probably changed him because of the connotation with seagulls that people have. What? Fucking rats with wings. Right. And they're annoying. They're like, no. We can't do that again. After Nemo, they kinda fucked up with Seagulls. No. So so they can't bring that back anymore.

They can. They have to they ruined seagulls forever.

But,

yeah, I I thought it was fine. I didn't have any issues with it. I mean,

our kiddo loved it. It was it was perfectly fine. There was nothing

there was no wokeness in that movie. No. Not even not a little bit. I don't.

Acting

is

what it what that freaking thing says on the tin. They're acting. So I don't care what the

actress or actor looks like as long as they can act. Right. As long as they can fill the role that they're trying to play. Exactly. And she did she did fine. Exactly.

And if you're mad about that,

I I think you're a dumbass. Exactly.

Yeah. I completely agree. I think it was and, again, I'm gonna die on this hill. Best live action that they've ever done. I can't think of another one that was better. I mean, I really can't. I thought that the Cruella movie was good too, but it wasn't Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. That's not really a live action spin.

It's more of a spin off, I think. Right. It Like, Maleficent

is the same, except it's a spin off. Right. It's not really direct. If they did Sleeping Beauty again and had Maleficent in it, then okay. Right.

Yeah. It's not it's not the same. Exactly.

Good. I'm glad we agree.

We also watched the back Beckham

Beckham. Good lord. I can't get that out of my mouth. That's because you're trying to speak British right now.

The Beckham Netflix documentary,

I really liked it. I did too. You know, I didn't know a whole lot about that guy because

we don't watch soccer. We are in the US, and soccer is not very popular here. We like hockey? We like hockey and the NFL. Well, most of the US likes the NFL. This household

does not. Right. We no.

Although I did watch the other documentary called quarterbacks about the NFL, and there were some really good highlights in there, but I could never sit down and watch a game. Like, it's just

so boring. No. But the Beckham

documentary was really good. They,

I liked

the fact that they did not

try to sway you one way or the other because Beckham had faults. Obviously, everybody does.

But then the coaches had faults too,

And they were they were actually shit talking each other a little bit,

but they never swayed you one way or the other. Obviously was right, who was wrong.

Obviously, the whole documentary is about Beckham. But

he had like I said, he had his faults. There was points in time where he wasn't focused on the game, and then the coaches would get pissed at him and blah blah blah blah blah. But it was good. I enjoyed the shit out of it, and I don't like soccer. Nope. But I'll just say that

British people are fucking nuts. They they get mad at each other and shit. Over soccer. I know. They were death threatened and kidnapping and talking about kidnapping his kids because he fucked up in the World Cup that one time. Right.

Like, you're kicking a ball, bro. It's not that big of a deal. This is too much.

Like, I I guess I never realized

they actually said it in the documentary that to them, them as in Europeans,

soccer is like a religion.

Yeah. That's wild. That's too much. Well, I mean, I've I've looked at things now,

and game developers are getting death threats because they didn't put something in a game. It's fucking crazy. People are nuts.

Get a life. Exactly. Go touch grass.

Seriously.

Go touch grass, please. Be that obsessed with your family. Like

I don't get it, man. Grief.

People feel like their life revolves around things now instead of each other, and it's sad.

But the whole like you said, the whole country hated him after the World Cup ends today. Because he because he got mad because a dude Tripped him. Tripped him. And he kicked back. And they ejected him from the game, and then everybody said that caused us to lose.

Listen. One person You don't know that. Right, caused you to lose. Yeah.

Anyways, but then he got his haircut.

Yeah. He got yeah. And everybody was all all jacked up about him cutting his hair. Right. This is a person.

I don't get idolization

of celebrities or Anybody. Player. Like, I don't get it. I really don't. I never have, and there are a lot of people who idolize

celebrities or sports people. And I'm

like, why? I mean, sure. They can be a role model. Right? But to invest that much into someone that you don't even know You're like, man, I'd like to play soccer like him one day as a kid, you know. But Well, even as an adult, like, you aspire to be like someone. Okay. Fine. But to take it to the point where you hate them because they got ejected from a game or you don't like the way they cut their hair, it's like Yeah. You're mad because he buys fancy stuff.

It'll like It's just weird. People

get

like you just said,

invest your

time and your energy into your family and building a family. Right. It's much better for you and your mind and Yep. Mental health, all that. Yep. Don't let

I mean, all that stuff is out of your control. Mhmm. David Beckham doesn't care that you don't like that he shaved his head,

and he poops the same way everybody else does. Yep. Well, maybe it's more athletic poop. Okay. Sorry. No. We're not going on that. No. That's kinda strange. Oh, okay.

Sorry. I am out of control today. But it's interesting though when you look at his career, you know, he is one of the more distinguishable people when it comes to soccer that even Americans know. Right.

And

he never won a World Cup.

Nope. He never but he did win a lot of, like, their NFL championships.

Right. Leagues and Yeah. In within not the world stage, but within the Europe. In within Europe, he won a lot of

championships. Right. But it's just it's interesting to think of somebody who is that big. You know? Like, say, I guess, maybe Alexander of Michigan to us because we love the Washington Capitals. I know we're in Tampa now, and we do root for the lightning. But if he had never won a Stanley Cup Oh, that would be You know what I mean? Terrible stain on his. Like, he would I don't

know. I don't think he would have retired if he hadn't won, or he would ever retire if he hasn't won. He'd be an old man out there. Well, he is now.

Grey Wolf.

But yeah. So to me, that mentality that, like, he is that well known, it's because he's a brand. Right? A 100%. He himself is his own brand. Well, and that's a that's one of the things that I really liked about

the documentary is he said I always wanted to know what I would do do after soccer Yep. Because

I'm a person, and I'm going to get old. Yep. So I have to have a plan. Forever. Right. I have to have a plan. So he did all those, like,

clothing deals, marketing deals for

fragrances and all that

fragrance.

You know? All that

You guys you gotta say it all sexy.

But, yeah, so it was a good documentary. I feel like they rushed it a little bit. I felt like you could have been a couple more episodes. No. I was done. Really? Yeah. No. I felt like it could have been a couple more episodes because

it was, like, really

brushing the surface on a lot of things.

Like, did he cheat? I wanna know. Did he cheat? I don't think they're gonna tell. Yeah. Probably not. I mean And it's past and over and done with, but they never answer that question. And Right. Because supposedly, he had an affair in Spain. Mhmm. Yeah. I don't know. But They never answered it. Brush over it. And there's a couple of things that it like, even in his career, like, they brushed over France. They brushed over, you know, a couple of other areas that he was in. So could've gone a little deeper

on it, but, overall, it's a good documentary.

I recommend it even if you don't like sports.

We don't like football or soccer.

You could tell you just watched the documentary. Yeah. We don't loves it, Bev. We don't like soccer, and we watched it, And it was good. Yeah. I think we're trying to

also have soccer be more of a word in our household right now. Yeah. Because Kiddo's playing? Yeah. We've

gotten her into a little it's a noncompetitive

league, but Yeah. It is good team building, and her coach is fucking hilarious. So

Silence of the Lambs. Yeah. Silence of the Lambs is a nice Christian film.

He's funny. And he yells at the kids when they don't run. You know, he says, I don't pay her to walk.

That's all. Wait a minute. I'm paying you, bro.

He's funny. He's a good dude. Do we wanna talk about the drama that we had? Yeah.

We we had a game over the weekend, and

there's multiple teams playing. There's, like, 3 fields going at once, but

our coach Well, they're bracketed by age group. Right? So our daughter is in the 8 to 10 age group, and I guess the group that was playing right now was maybe 10 to 12 or 10 to 13. It was an older group. Yeah. But it was it was during that time where some kids, they hit that growth spurt and they're fucking giants. And other kids are tiny little midgets? Yeah. They're tiny. And there's this there was this giant kid out there. I was like, this dude is probably 37.

But he he was big. Right? And he was playing,

and he could move. He obviously, he was he's built better than,

I would say, all the kids on that field. He was the tallest one out there. Yeah. He was the tallest one out there.

Clearly, he was either

approaching puberty or was already in it. Yep.

And, well, he got into a little scuffle with another

of the opposite team. Once they scuffled, they're they were going head to head for the ball. Yeah. And he pushed them down. Mhmm. He pushed them down and got the ball, But our coach, the funny one, he said

he got all up in that he he started yelling and he said, you before that, during their scuffle, the big kid got the ball, won the ball from the little kid. Yes. The little kid fell

and hit the ground

hard. Well, he pushed him. Right. And I'm talking the kid hit hard. Head, body, everything. He had to he had to leave the game.

He got he got hurt. Yep.

Paid out. Our coach yelled at that big kid and said, you gonna put your hands on another kid. And I'm talking like Yelled. He was mad. Raging yelled. And

I was all on board for it because this isn't this isn't like the World Cup. Right. This is the You're not David Beckham. No. You're you're a kid. Mhmm. You're not getting paid. Your parents are paying for this.

But

that happened. Our coach yelled, like,

raging yelled, and then the dad of the big kid that pushed the other kid got up and said, you all yell at my kid. I was like, oh, shit. Here we go. It's about to be one of them pee wee sport bras.

But immediately,

our coach backtracked

and said, I'm sorry. I apologize. You're right. I shouldn't have done that. But he but no, he was a 100% in the right because he gets emotional though.

He doesn't want these kids getting hurt. He says it all the time at practice. Yes. I agree. But at the same time, he realized,

you know, woah. He was a bigger man than I would have been. Uh-huh. I would have been yelling at that bald dude that got up acting like he was mister tough guy.

Right. But that's why I think our coach is the coach. He's a better man than me.

I'd be on the sidelines ripping my shirt off like, come on then. Let's go.

I can't. I can't. Little League sports is gonna kill us. Yeah.

But I was the same way. I was like, yeah. I'm going up there. I'm gonna go up there for coach. I'm telling you right

now. I was gonna go up there with him and stand next to him, like, let's go. You wanna bring it? Yeah. It's on. It was just a parent rage moment, which I kind of understand, but at the same time, I would probably be fussing at my kid if he was 17 feet taller than all the other kids, and then he

hurt somebody else. Right. I'd say, hey. I I don't think I would have yelled at him like coach did, but

I would have

probably sternly talked to him about it. Like, hey, man. You can't do that. This isn't

this isn't football. Right.

This is

soccer, and contact isn't

happens,

but you don't purposefully do it. Right. And it was on purpose.

Absolutely. And, again, I say that I'm on coach's side because

I

like him, respect him. I think he's a good coach.

But if he would've yelled at our kid, like, I probably would have reacted the same. Like, keep going, my kid. I I yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I see both sides. But, again, they were bigger people

than everyone at that game. They shook hands. They apologized to each other. The game went on, but the poor kid that got hurt left. Yeah. I went home. I grabbed a bat.

Would you stop?

I'm I'm joking.

So, yeah. I do not condone violence at

pee wee games. It was a very eventful

soccer game. It was funny, though. I was like, holy shit. We're about to see some more action up in here. But we weren't the people who whipped out our cell phones. I was very proud of us. I know. Well, I wanted to see with my own eyes.

If we had to get up, go over there for a couple. You can't. You can't. You gotta be ready for that.

Well, speaking of funny, what you got for us? So I did a a little bit of Reddit diving. I've said this 5 times on this podcast that I wanted to do some posts about or some posts,

some podcast

about some Reddit threads.

This is really difficult.

I'm struggling.

Well, I found some good ones.

One of them

is a thread

that says, what is the laziest thing you've ever done?

Okay?

K. And the top post on that thread

is about a guy.

He's an officer in the navy.

K. And he was on a US ship. He probably he can't disclose it because, you know, secrets.

K.

Well, he's sitting there in the officers' lounge, which is their galley. They're all separated from

the Schmucks.

Got it.

Well, one of the other officers came in there, and he was clearly tired,

could not wake up. He's one of them people

that if the nuke goes off next to him, they still ain't getting up out of bed. Okay.

Well, he comes in there. He's got his bagel. He's sitting down at the galley. He's eating,

and the sun's beating right in his face. Right? The galley's a fucking cafeteria.

Well, he picks up a phone,

He says

he the guy couldn't really understand him, but then he started listening in and he said, yeah. 15 degrees.

And then all of a sudden, the sun

starts going off of his face and onto the wall behind him.

This dude called up to the bridge

to tell them to move the boat 15 degrees

instead of standing up and moving to a different spot.

He called off, and then he started enjoying his bagel after that.

I couldn't fucking believe it. Pretty good, actually. I was like, how much how much tax dollars did that take to move it back?

Gonna go up there after he finished his bagel. You're off by 15 degrees. Move it back.

I laughed so fucking hard. The dude was eating a bagel all mad because he had to get out of bed,

and he made it move the entire boat.

15 degrees. Don't care if you're going into enemy waters. Go 15 degrees.

Oh, man. That was hilarious.

And the next one

I found is on the Reddit called today, I fucked up.

So this one was about a wife being invited

to her boss's house for dinner. She got hired. It's kinda like a get to know you type deal, networking thing. Her husband was allowed to come along.

Well, she told the husband like, hey.

Don't embarrass me.

This is my new boss.

You know?

Well, they went I can already see where this is going.

Well, they

they went to the house. Right? They're doing their dinner thing. The the boss is laughing at the husband's, you know, his

comedy, whatever, his jokes.

Well, she brings out the main course,

which is a nice juicy steak. And he's like, oh, I love steak. Right?

Well, he gets it on his plate, and he realizes, he cuts it open, and he's like, this bitch is still mooing.

So he was like, I cannot eat this.

Well, the boss got up to go get something else from the kitchen, so he was

game planning on how do I get rid of this thing

without

embarrassing my wife and, you know, making her new boss feel bad.

Well, he's he looks over to his left, and he sees a window.

And he's like, alright. I'm gonna fucking chuck this thing out the window. Well, he picks it up, and he throws it out the window, but the window was perfectly clean, and it was shut.

So it slammed up on the window,

and he said blood was dripping down because that was mooing, was dripping down all over the windowsill. The boss comes running back in because she heard a huge ass thump and he was like, oh.

He was like, I was trying to cut it with my knife, and my knife slipped, and it shot across the room. Making this huge story. Yeah. He made it all up, and it was clear. They she said or he said that his wife and her boss just stared at him for the rest of the night and looked out, and then he picked the the steak up off the window

and ate it and pretended like it was really good.

I thought that was funny.

And then

afterwards, she's working at this place with their new boss, and she said, my boss still thinks you're an idiot.

But I love you.

Alright. And then my final one was today I fucked up. Reddit again.

And

this guy was dating a girl, and he was invited over to meet the parents.

Well,

I don't know why he did this.

Makes no sense,

but he enraged his girlfriend and the parents because he kept pretending like he didn't know what a potato was.

A fucking potato.

But so he,

so they served him a potato. He was like, what is this? And he was just messing around at first, but then he started doing it, and he was like, okay. I gotta get out of this. But he couldn't.

Well,

her parents got so mad because he didn't know who the potato is. They kicked his ass out of the house,

and he he to this day, he still texts his girlfriend.

Like, sometimes he's like and she's like brings up potatoes, and he's like, what is a potato? He still pretends like he doesn't know what a potato is.

They're not getting married. Well, he said she's gonna break up with me anyway.

I thought that one was funny as shit too. I guess go all in. Yeah. He well, he he tried to find it out, but he couldn't. So he was like, alright. Well,

I built this story. I've gotta stick to it.

Enraging your girlfriend's parents over not knowing what a potato is.

I wanna know what

are you from Ireland or something?

Is that why

Wait. Don't they have potatoes?

Ireland? Yeah. That's why that's why I'm saying, like, why would they be mad

that you don't know what a potato is? So mad that they've kicked you out of their house. Are you Irish? Because you're an idiot.

Yeah. But would you kick somebody out of the ass if you didn't know what a potato was?

Yes. You're an idiot. What is this? It's a potato.

Get out.

That's the dumbest shit I have. Well, it's like you don't know what a potato no? Okay. You're an idiot.

No. That That was funny, though. I laugh my ass off at these these Reddit ones. I need to do more of these on the podcast. Well, I'm trying to think of, like, what would be our laziest story or our Today I Fucked Up story.

I don't know. I think

my fucked up one would be when I kinda told our daughter what

happens to women when they go into Traubbery. Oh. No. Puberty. Oh. And explain to her, you know, what's gonna happen. Right? She knows what a period is. She knows all the things. Yeah. Lady time. Case says,

I don't wanna be a girl.

It's like, I fucked up.

She's like, can I give all this stuff back?

It sucks.

Like, I get it. I totally get it. Me either, kid.

Alright. Well, I don't know. I'd have to really sit down and think about what my laziest moment is.

But

there's gotta be something.

I think my laziest moment is every day when we order DoorDash.

It is not. And it was every day. It was. Especially, like, in the early days of kiddo, like, after

I brought her home Oh, and then Yeah. At the first time. And then COVID. COVID is COVID too. Every single day. And that but I feel like they had much better deals during COVID because everybody was closed. Mhmm. But anyway,

love you.

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